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15 November 2022, 10:42
Stormzy said his split from Maya Jama in 2019 showed him he 'was a boy'.
The 'Mel Made Me Do It' rapper said the heartache led him to change his 'character, routines, habits, tradition, values and morals' to prevent ever being in that position again.
He said: "I'd never experienced a breakup and the feelings that come with a breakup. And I never wanted to ever be in a position again where I felt what I was feeling. Because it showed me that I was a boy. And I do not want to go any further as a boy."
The 29-year-old continued: "So what is the necessary work I have to do to make sure I’m not in this position again? That means growth, accountability, changing my character, changing my routines, my habits, my tradition, my values, my morals.
"Because how I feel right now and how I’ve made someone else feel and how I’ve devastated a world that I was living in – I just never want to be in this position again. So what do I need to do?”
Stormzy said he worked on himself, but realised his level of fame shielded him from making the changes he felt were necessary.
“I came to understand that everything I’d achieved for myself did nothing for how I was feeling in real time. Nothing,” he added.
“There was no plaque, there was no cheque that was going to come that was going to make me feel any better about how I felt.”
He also spoke about taking much-needed time for himself to reset, flying to Jamaica with Adele and a group of friends for a form of spiritual therapy.
“We would sit by the pool all day and by the water and just talk and just have time with our feelings," he recalled. "If you’re with the right group of people, people who encourage honesty and truth, then talking is so therapeutic. I’d go to the water every day and I’d pray.”
Stormzy felt he left for Jamaica a boy and returned a man.
The three-time BRIT Award winner also spent time in Ghana – where his parents are from – with his friends and family, followed by a 'spiritual and health retreat' in Dubai with some of his male friends where they'd wake at 7am, hit the gym and then go for a run before spending the day talking.
He explained: "It was like therapy. We didn’t call it that; we were just talking. But that’s what it was. I guess that’s been the biggest headline for me over these last few years with my friendship groups and my brothers: growth. How are we growing?”
Stormzy's third studio album 'This Is What I Mean' comes out on 25 November and he's already revealed a number of his new songs are inspired by his split from Maya.
Maya's thought to have recently ended her engagement to NBA player Ben Simmons.