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One Girl Had A Pretty Crap First Date And You'll Be Thankful You're Single Now!

We've all had pretty bad first dates - whether it's spilling wine down ourselves; falling downstairs or... Having our own poop in our purse. Oh? That's just this one girl? We see...

We love a love story. Who doesn't?

Well, we did love a love story until we saw this from Twitter user 'misunderstood worm'... And yes, she is almost definitely "misunderstood".

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The date started off normally, as you'd expect.

So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Then - in the words of Ron Burgundy - it escalated quickly.

I am a confident, calm and self assured woman...so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

From there, it hit the fan. Well, maybe it would have been more beneficial if it had hit the fan.

Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I realized I didn't have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can't fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I'd DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

NO. NO, NO, NO. THAT IS NOT THE ONLY THING YOU COULD DO!

In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that's really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So that's my story. A man, sat there telling me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Is a second date on the cards? We definitely won't show these Tweets to him or the millions of people who will see this. Definitely. It's our little secret.

And the moral of the story?

This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016