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31 August 2018, 20:08
A comprehensive deep dive into the brand new season 3 promo trailer - and all the details you missed.
In case you missed it, the first full promo trailer for the much anticipated third season of Riverdale dropped yesterday (Aug 29) and it sent the fandom into complete meltdown.
From the creepy pagan references and the terrifying cult activities that seem to have plagued the town over the summer, right down to all the Choni, Bughead, Varchie, Koose and NAKED FALICE (yeah that's right... I said naked) action, the internet is in complete and utter unrest.
'Riverdale' Season 3: All The Behind-The-Scenes Spoilers, Pictures And Videos From The Cast
The trailer was only 30 seconds long but a LOT went down and it really doesn't look great for the majority of the residents in our fair Riverdale. So, without further ado, let's go on an extensive deep dive of all this brand new footage, complete with all the little details that you may have missed the first time:
Archie in handcuffs in the back of a bus on his way to prison? Absolutely NOT. As you'll recall at the end of season one, Archie found himself arrested for the murder of Cassidy Bullock (he didn't do it, your honor!) and we guess those handcuffs mean that the trial didn't go in his favour then? Can't wait to find out how many jurors Hiram bribed to send my sweet baby Archie's ass to jail.
But things aren't looking good so far for the investigative duo, though. He is playing the role of the suspicious forensic photographer and she is playing the role of the personal investigator with some heavy inner turmoil. Sounds like a procedural crime drama spin-off to me.
But what are they looking at? Why is Betty so shook? (When isn't she?) WHERE ARE THEY? Well, it looks like they're at Riverdale High School and considering this season's central storyline will revolve around ~the school~, it looks like Bughead are going to be front and centre of this whole shabang.
It's kinda funny that Veronica is telling her father that her and Archie's relationship will withstand whatever he's planning on throwing at them, because... it's already been revealed that she ends up with another love interest at some point this season. Does Hiram have something to do with that?
As we've all seen in the season 3 Comic Con preview, all the core four want is to have a "normal" Labor Day weekend after what Archie describes as "the summer from hell"... so dramatic, honestly. So they head off for a romantic quadruple's weekend by the river in the very car that Archie bought to repair with Fred. Looks like they took the time to built it together after all. *wipes single tear*
Also, Veronica in this headscarf? A look.
Betty with no shirt on? Outside? Near an open flame? In this economy?!
The Cheryl Blossom Rescue Squad are BACK and this time, with added Cheryl. But where are they, what's the heist and who are they running from? Judging by those kegs, it looks like it could either be the Whyte Wyrm or Veronica's new underground Speakeasy.
There also seems to be a Union Jack flag hanging in the doorway??? What's that about?
What's a heist without a little all-black ensemble, am I right?
ARCHIE? A SERPENT? Not on my watch. It looks like ya boi Andrews is hanging out at the Serpent camp too, judging by that giant 'S' in the background. But unlike everyone else's serpent tattoos, Archie's appears to be in full colour. It's literally the least subtle tattoo of all time BUT could it actually just be part of a wider plan to protect Archie while he's in jail?
so the Serpents have small and simple tattoos where as Archie’s is full color and takes up half his arm. do you think that has something to do with if he’s actually a serpent or is Archie just extra af pic.twitter.com/SmpIxZ2uPz
— shiloh kuznetsov (@shilohkuz) August 30, 2018
Important things to consider in this 0.2 seconds worth of footage: a) how big Alice's tattoo is, b) the location of said tattoo, c) THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE MATCHING TATTOOS, d) the smiles, e) his hand, f) her hair, g) the ~sweat~, h) the fact that I am a MESS and will likely not ever recover, i) the fact FP's trailer is still in one piece despite the rest of Sunnyside trailer park being wiped out by Hiram three months ago...
In case you didn't know, Skeet Ulrich has already spilled the tea on where FP's serpent tattoo is - it's on his right side - but it looks like he's got more than one. Is that a... jellybean? Over his heart? (I'm already crying if true.)
As we all know, Kevin and Moose will be in a "relationship" when we arrive back in Riverdale after the summer but it's been revealed that Moose isn't quite ready to come out just yet. Kevin is probbbbably gonna catch hands for doing that in the middle of the school corridor.
FP, come and collect your son...
Rumoured set list: 'I Write Sentences Not Tragedies', 'The Ballad Of Inmate Andrews', 'The Good, The Bad And The Incarcerated', 'Don't Threaten Me With Some Jail Time', 'Lying Is The Most Fun Hiram Can Have Without Taking His Clothes Off'.
Yes, that's Archie getting whacked by a guard.
Yes, you saw that right... that is my mans Fred Andrews swinging for Hiram Lodge in the middle of a courtroom corridor. And you can just about make out a blurry Mary Andrews in the background too.
Looks like they were NOT lying about all that supernatural stuff because the cult is thriving and they're into some weird pagan shit. The pictures in the book? One is a picture of a woman with no eyes and the other? A creepy horned demon holding what looks like a *baby*... and some snakes in his hand.
Suddenly I'm scared for the Serpents???
Won't you tell us that you're ok? Listen, can someone give this kid a break? I am SICK OF IT. Remember in the Comic Con promo trailer, when Betty creeped downstairs and clocked that weird cult ceremony happening in her own backyard where Polly and Alice were holding the twins over a fire? It looks like she faints after seeing it.
WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS? While it might look like something dreamt up by the production team on American Horror Story's in-show mockumentary My Roanoke Nightmare, it's actually the same weird God-like horned demon figure that appeared in those creepy illustrations earlier.
I said it before and I'll say it again... Jughead JUST survived being jumped by 45 Ghoulies so why is he out here on his own and more importantly, what the HELL is going on here? Let's examine the scene... there's that creepy horned demon figure again, in the middle of what looks like a sacrifice? There's two shirtless men in white pants lying on the floor - one of them has a distinct triangle tattoo on his back... Symbol of the cult, perhaps?