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7 February 2019, 14:16
The Farm has finally arrived in Riverdale and Alice Cooper's life looks like it's hanging in the balance in the extended promo trailer for 'Requiem For A Welterweight'
Another Gargoyle King reveal, one wedding, one heart-wrenching break up, one new ship, one reunion of the Midnight Club and the arrival of a brand new drug overlord happened on Riverdale this week but just when you thought the worst of it was over, it's actually about to get even worse.
The next episode of Riverdale, titled 'Requiem for a Welterweight', will air on Wednesday 27th February (yes, there's another two week long hiatus and yes, I know, it's annoying...) but, it looks like things are about to heat up even more than before - particularly when it comes to Josie's love life and the hellfire Veronica is about to get from Gladys Jones.
The synopsis for episode 3x13 reads: "Archie steps back into the ring; Alice goes deeper with the Farm; Jughead visits the Heart of Darkness; Veronica juggles duelling villains."
The trailer for the episode also gives us an update on Cheryl and Toni's new gang the Pretty Poisons aaaaand teases a very dramatic life or death moment for Alice Cooper. Watch the trailer above and then scroll on down to join us on our weekly deep dive.
Following her wrongful(ish) exile from the Serpents, Toni is flat out refusing to return to the gang she once called home. Jughead, who kicked out Cheryl and Toni for a couple of sexy cat burglaries yet found it in his heart to protect Fangs following a straight up MURDER, has clearly offered Tee-Tee her spot back in the fam but she ain't want it. She's got a new family now.
And they've got better jacket patches so THERE.
And you're cleaaaaaaarly mistaken if you think you're about to pull a fast one on Toledo's premiere Bad Bitch™. Judging by the trailer, Gladys seems to have set up shop in La Bonne Nuit and is hellbent on making sure Veronica knows who she's dealing with. It also sounds like Hermione better watch her back too. BUT WHAT DOES SHE WANT? WHAT IS HER GAME PLAN? WHY IS JELLYBEAN INVOLVED?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
If this is what Archie needs to do to work out that pent up aggression and help with his mental struggles, then so be it. Just please, PLEASE... no more hits to the face and absolutely NO more marks, bruises, cuts, brands or bear swipes to the torso. I am BEGGING you.
Remember in season 1, when Josie told Archie that it was "never gonna happen?" LOOK HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. It's happening. Archosie's moment is here. And even though we now know that this ship will only be a short term thing (thanks to the news about Josie leaving Riverdale and moving to New York City to be part of the Katy Keene spin-off), we're still about to enjoy every GOD DAMN second of this flawless couple.
Following the big exposé of Tall Boy as the Gargoyle King, everyone seems to have forgotten about all the gang members that legged it... Is this where they've all been hiding out? Also, what kind of psychopath has been hanging creepy dolls legs from the ceiling?! Y'all weird!
Can someone PLEASE slap some sense into Alice and get her out of this cult? PLEASE!? Go pick on someone else, mum has been THROUGH IT! Now that The Farm has purchased the Sisters with Betty's college fund money, it looks like Mama Coop is being baptised (in the Gargoyle room, no less) under the promise that she'll be "reborn". But later in the trailer, we see Betty running for ha life towards (?) the Sisters and then wailing when she realises Alice is not breathing.
Edgar, you little rat. Turn on your location I just wanna talk.
Listen, if Hiram ever wanted his masterplan to include Riverdale's own version of the Hunger Games, then I'll put $500,000 on Cheryl and the rest of the mini-Katniss' taking all three top spots. With poison and archery on their side? All other districts are SHAKING!
IS THAT FANGS? THAT BETTER BE FANGS. I'M SCARED!