45 brutal Battle of Winterfell memes that sum up Game of Thrones season 8, episode 3 (Recap)

29 April 2019, 15:33

By Katie Louise Smith

This article contains major spoilers for Game of Thrones season 8, episode 3. Read at your own risk!

It's here. Game of Thrones' long-awaited Battle of Winterfell finally took place in season 8, episode 3 (titled 'The Long Night') and it was relentless. The entire episode takes place on the battle field. You don't get space to breathe. You don't get time to calm down. You might need therapy after watching it.

The actor who plays the Night King on Game of Thrones looks completely different in real life

After two episodes of Home Alone-ing Winterfell with booby traps and battle weapons, every single character who is currently in the North finds themselves either on the front lines or literally fearing for their lives in the crypt. The Night King, the White Walkers and the wights have posted up at Winterfell and they are ready to fucc! it! up!

This episode had everything: the return of Melisandre, a dragon fight, fan-favourite characters being turned into Wights, GHOST!, fire, ice, Lyanna Mormont taking one for the team, Arya hitting the biggest slam dunk you've ever seen in your life, several game-changing character deaths and of course, another batch of absolutely brutal memes.

To quote home invasion expert Kevin McCallister, "This is it. Don't get scared now."

What happened in Game of Thrones 8x03? Here are all the best memes and tweets from The Battle of Winterfell...

The episode starts with everyone in their positions. Arya and Sansa stand watch atop the walls, Bran heads off to the Weirwood tree, Nephew Jon and Auntie Dany fly away on the dragons to stand watch on a mountain, Sam's hands are shaking and so are mine. The undead are on the horizon but you can't see them because it's so FUCKING DARK.

The Dothraki line up to head into the field first alongside Ser Jorah of House Friend-Zone and the only character on this show that has never betrayed me, Ghost. But before they head off, there's some important business to attend to: MELISANDRE!

Surprise, bitch! Bet you thought you'd seen the last of her! She arrives out of nowhere and lights up the swords of the Dothraki. Arya notices her! A girl is not impressed! The last time she saw her, she took her mans Gendry away! She reunites with Davos for the first time since Shireen's death but before he has a chance to drag her for filth, she says: “There’s no need to execute, Ser Davos, I’ll be dead before the dawn.” More on that later...

Anyway, it's time. The Dothrakis run into battle - along with Jorah and Ghost. Remember when Ned Stark said "only a fool would meet the Dothraki in an open field"? Hahahaha, well Ned, I've some God damn news for ya. The Dothraki are toast almost immediately.

As the remaining soldiers await their fight on the front lines, a handful of horses, fighters and Jorah come scrambling back. They are shook! Everyone is shitting themselves. It's about to get REAL!

Grey Worm, Brienne, Jaime, Tormund, my husband Gendry and Sam (!!) are all on the front lines as the Wights attack. The dead are here! Everyone is swinging!

Jon and Dany, who have had enough already, put their incest woes aside and mount the dragons to go kill the wights with fire. As Dany and Drogon "dracarys" the wights on the battlefield, Jon spots the Night King's mandem and goes after them. But as soon as he flies down, he's hit with a barrage of ice and frost. He can't see! This is DEFCON 1!

It's getting a bit spicy out there so Arya tells untrained Sansa to go into the crypts. Arya hands her a weapon and Sansa is like "what tf do I do with this?!" Arya replies: "Stick them with the pointy end!" A season 1, episode 2 call back! I'm not crying! You are!

BACK TO THE BATTLE FIELD! Sam is in a bit of trouble and he's about to die! Edd saves him but then gets killed himself! Our first death! RIP Edd! It's all getting a bit much so Legend in the North Lyanna Mormont calls for everyone to retreat. The gates open and the soldiers fall back just as Arya saves The Hound's life.

It was at this point that I had to put a cover over my head to be able to actually see who was fighting who because the lighting on-screen was unbearable. I guess Brienne killed someone? Idk? Jaime might have killed a few too? Is Gendry still there? Honestly, couldn't tell you what's going on. I'm gonna say yes to all of that.

Here is a stunning image of the battle:

But have no fear! Melisandre comes in clutch and turns up the brightness on the battlefield. With everyone inside the perimeters of the trenches, the Unsullied step forward and form a barrier around her so she can light the trenches. (This was meant to be done by Dany and Jon on Davos' orders but they were stupid and got themselves stuck in the ice clouds. Smh.)

Meanwhile, in the crypt: Sansa and Tyrion have a heart to heart about the battle, their failed marriage and take the time to talk shit about Daenerys, which is then overheard by Missandei who calls Sansa tf out for dragging her good sis Dany.

And at the Weirwood: Protected by Theon and his army, Bran wargs. And he wargs until basically the end of the episode. While Theon stands there...

Unbothered by the fire trenches, the wights start throwing themselves onto the fire to form a corpse bridge so that the others can get through. The final defence is gone. Winterfell is beginning to fall.

The wights eventually make their way into the grounds and start climbing the walls. Brienne and Jaime save each other from certain death. The Hound is saved, again. Gendry and Sam add to their kill counts and down in the grounds below, a tiny tiny Lyanna Mormont charges at the giant Wight.

She's grabbed around the torso and crushed, but not before she stabs him in the eye with her weapon and kills him. Yes, Lyanna Mormont took one for the team. Tiny legend. We never deserved her.

Arya then finds herself within the walls of Winterfell creeping around trying not to give away her location to the Wights. She ends up in a battle against against them with Beric and The Hound that results in Beric's death. Melisandre pops up again, reminds her of the prophecy she revealed back in season 3. And disappears again.

DRAGON WATCH 2K19: Rhaegal and Viserion end up locked in a battle which then causes both Jon and the Night King to fall off. Useless. Honestly.

Dany locates the NK on the ground. She circles round and shouts "dracarys" and Drogon does his thing. He's engulfed in flames but he emerges from the flames, completely unharmed. He's a bad bitch! You can't kill him! Try again, Auntie!

He throws a spear at Drogon, but misses. So he marches on... and raises 👏 the 👏 God 👏 damn 👏 dead. All the fallen soldiers rise, including baby Lyanna Mormont and the Dothraki. Question: Why didn't they burn the bodies after they died? Why? Seems like a terrible oversight that someone like Tyrion would not have let slip! FFS!

Speaking of Tyrion, just as we all guessed, the dead bodies in the crypt start to come to life after the Night King's command. Sansa is shookT at the arrival of the dead Starks and takes out her weapon, ready to fight. But not before an emosh goodbye of sorts to Tyrion.

Throughout all of this, Bran Stark is still warging, by the way. People are literally dying and Bran is just sat there. But you know, whatever... Bran knows what he's doing tbh. I trust him.

This is it. The Night King is on his way to Bran and he is about to die. There is literally no way he is going to survive this, right? Not a chance! At this point, it's just Theon and Bran. And no offence to Theon but... come on, sweetie. Your watch has ended.

After thanking Theon for his loyalty, Bran basically tells him that his time is up. Theon makes one last charge at the Night King but ends up skewered by his spear. Theon is dead. He did not deserve it. I am sad. I will be suing HBO for everything they put Theon through. #JusticeForTheon.

AND NOW FOR THE TWIST: Just when you thought Bran was about to end up either dead or a White Walker himself, Arya Stark makes the dunk of a life time with her dragonglass knife, jumps to kill the Night King before he turns around and grabs her around the throat. She drops her knife, grabs it with the other hand and then STABS HIM! WITH DRAGONGLASS!

Arya just killed the Night King. And just like that, the entire White Walker army - and army of the undead - shatter into a shards of ice.

While all this is happening, everyone is still fighting and Daenerys and Jorah are still out on the battlefield. Jorah is absolutely wreckedT but he doesn't stop fighting until the wights drop because he must protect his Khaleesi!!!!

He falls to the ground as Dany rushes over to him and he dies in her arms. Drogon returns and they mourn Jorah together. She's crying. The dragon is crying. I'm crying. RIP Ser Jorah, of House Friend-Zone. You will be missed.

That's it. The war is over. Lives were lost, blood was shed and perhaps more pressingly, Melisandre is about to check out for the last time.

Like the old lady who dropped the necklace in the ocean at the end of Titanic, Melisandre walks out into the battlefield, rips off her necklace, returns to her true aged form and drops down dead, before dawn, just like she said she would.

She did what she had to do. As the wise prophet Beyoncé once said, she really did fuck it up and then leave, come back, fuck it up and leave again.

And meanwhile, in King's Landing... Cersei remains unbothered xoxo