Cheryl Cole: 'Simon Was Right To Drop Me From US X Factor'
3 July 2014, 07:19
She was left publicly humiliated when she was axed from the TV show just weeks into her high-profile job and before the series went on air.
She told Elle UK:
"I can talk about this because I'm OK about it now. But I went through hell and it literally drove me mad. I became so desensitised, you could say terrible things to me and I wouldn't even think about it.
I'd read awful stuff about myself and not blink. I shut down because I didn't know what else to do.
Now I can say that Simon was right to get rid of me.
I wasn't well in the head when that was going on, so it wasn't going to work. But he wasn't right not to tell me to my face.''
The 31 year old from Heaton has also revealed that after finding out she'd been dropped, she sent Simon Cowell a text message full of swear words.
Speaking to Capital at the X Factor red carpet event outside the Sage in Gateshead last week, Cheryl said her and Simon are friends now though.
She told us,
"I'd say we're like 'frenemies'. Or maybe brother and sister, but he's definitley the older brother!'
Cole, who is now back as a judge on the UK X Factor, revealed to the August issue of the magazine that she felt as though she was having a nervous breakdown last year.
"It only hit me at the beginning of 2013 that I'd completely lost myself. I'd look in a mirror and think: 'Who the hell is she?'
I didn't know what I thought or felt about anything, couldn't make decisions - I didn't even know what to eat or drink. Something was seriously wrong: it felt like a nervous breakdown. I had to stop, get out of my life I'd been living and find myself again. The consequences if I didn't were just too frightening.''
The former Girls Aloud star, who divorced her husband Ashley Cole in 2010 and is now dating French restaurateur Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini, said that today she is a stronger woman.
"I thought I had every box ticked, career and personal. I was the first to get married. I was the one everyone thought would be the first to have a baby and then the rug got pulled out from under me. I've learned that there is no such thing as a plan. You can't make them."