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12 November 2019, 16:07 | Updated: 12 November 2019, 16:11
Liam Payne opened up to SAS: Who Dares Wins star Ant Middleton in the candid interview.
Opening up about the pressure he felt to ‘protect’ them both, he said: “Becoming a dad at such a young age, it’s such a difficult thing. And I think I built fatherhood up so much in my head that it kind of messed me up to start with.
“I started in a bad place with it. I think it spooked me out early on, and I was just worried I would not be enough to look after the both of them.
“They’re so important to me – Cheryl as well. She’s one of the most, if not the most, important people in my life,’ he says on Sky One’s upcoming Ant Middleton and Liam Payne: Straight Talking.
He added: “Even though we’re not together, Cheryl’s always there for me. I’m lucky I have someone who understands what I’m going through. ‘The one thing I was missing as a man in the relationship I had, was a level understanding about what she was feeling about stuff.
“I think I learnt through being away that, while I want to protect her, there’s a big part of her that wants to protect me.”
The One Direction star also opened up about his mental health and said fame ‘nearly killed’ him.
“For some certain circumstances I’m quite lucky to be here still,” he said.
He added: “There are times when that level of loneliness and people getting into you every day, it’s like, “When will this end?”
“That’s almost nearly killed me a couple of times.”
When Ant asked the singer if he had ever considered ‘acting on it’, he said: “Yeah, when I’ve been in a bad place. It’s one hundred per cent, you know. There’s no point denying it — it’s definitely been on the menu a couple of times in my life.”