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3 August 2018, 15:46 | Updated: 3 August 2018, 15:49
A year after her public bust up with her ex-boyfriend Jeremy McConnell, Stephanie Davis has opened up about her 'dark' past, saying she has turned her life around in a heartfelt Instagram post.
Stephanie Davis, 24, has reflected on a turbulent year in a heartfelt Instagram post, opening up and admitting her struggles with addiction and depression, saying she feared was was headed towards an early grave before seeking help.
After a very public drunken bust up with her now ex boyfriend, Jeremy McConnell, which saw her get arrested for assault whilst pregnant with their child, the couple ended their toxic relationship, and Steph has a one year old son, Caben-Albi who she's a single mother to.
To the left was me when I was in a very dark place. I'm not ashamed of sharing these photos, I'm proud, even to the paps who were outside my house in them hard times, I'm great-full for the photos now to see how far I've come. As you can see I looked like death, my eyes were completely dead bottom left, the sparkle gone and an empty shell of who I once was, I was Dead inside. I never thought I would get through it, I really thought I'd be getting buried soon and life wasn't for me, i was suicidal & I had nothing left to give, I was sick of trying, sick of justifying myself,mentally absolutely DRAINED. But somewhere in me wasn't done just yet. I was so use to doing it alone, so use to picking my self back up, so use to trying to make everything better. I turned to alcohol to numb my pain, it wasn't about wanting a wine, I needed it to stop the pain I had,I was so scared to feel the hurt I was really feeling inside, I did all I could to push them feelings down and run from them,I was scared to feel because I thought if I cried I'd never stop. I was petrified, I was scared, I was lonely, this wasn't how I thought my life would turn out. I didn't want to be a single mum I didn't want the way my life turned out.NOW, I am so grateful for the cards I've been dealt, To the right I look at them photos and I see one strong women, today I am the loving caring amazing mother I knew I could be,I said the three words I found so hard to say because of my pride.. I need help.Them three words what I feared as weakness turned out to be my strength. I couldn't do it alone.I have learnt how to be able to cope with hard times, I've learnt to like ME, I'm starting to learn who I really am,I use to HATE my self, I had no confidence and my self worth was horrific,it will take me along time to love my self, but today..I like my self, and that's good enough for now. Now all I want to do is help others, to give hope!I'm not ashamed of being an addict in recovery I am proud. It saved my life & made me a better person!! If I can help people & give hope then it's made my journey all worth while. Today I'm so thankful for my life & son.Today I'm grateful I'm alive ❤️🙏🏽 jai Paul:BTSTU🎶💪🏼
In the incredibly honest post, Steph admits that asking for help was hardest thing to do, but without it she predicts she would have died.
She said: "I never thought I would get through it, I really thought I'd be getting buried soon and life wasn't for me, I was suicidal & I had nothing left to give, I was sick of trying, sick of justifying myself, mentally absolutely DRAINED."
"I turned to alcohol to numb my pain, it wasn't about wanting a wine, I needed it to stop the pain I had,I was so scared to feel the hurt I was really feeling inside".
People have flooded her social media page with messaged of support, congratulating her on being a single mother and for seeking the help she needed.
One user wrote: "Proud of you girl. U don't need a man us single women are stronger for it. Keep goin and live ur life to the fullest with Caleb x"
Steph originally met Jeremy when they appeared on Celebrity Big Brother and they split up after a rocky two year relationship. She is now also set to make her 'Hollyoaks' return after being axed from the soap in 2015.