Cruzcampo-ing it up

I love holidays. I've just got back from Spain and it was fab. Not just because it was hot, there was a pool, and the food was cheap. But because there are certain things you can get away with on holiday, that are just a bit wrong in England.

Beer for Breakfast. Not me, but others around me, took full advantange of the Cruzcampo at 11am. Closely followed by half a yard of pina colada.

Listening to Jack Johnson. A friend I went away with put it very succinctly "Jack Johnson's **** for most of the year except in summer". Personally I love a bit of Jack Johnson but maybe I can see her point.

The lingo. Speaking in any language abroad as long as it's not English, or the language of the country you're actually in. They'll understand you anyway.

Tactical Tanning. Making sure you spend exactly the right amount of time sunbathing on your front or back, proportionate to how much sun cream you've got on and what time of day it is, to ensure an even tan.

Turning Everything into a Drinking Game. Ping pong, cards, backgammon, and naming vegetables beginning with every letter of the alphabet.

Shopping in bikinis. There's something liberating about walking into a newsagents to buy a 2 day old copy of the Sun with no shoes on, in just a thong and skimpy top.