Corrie's Compromised Cliffhangers

Liam Connor died last week, murdered by a rich underwear mogul called Tony. His wife was surprised, but about ten million others already knew he’d sunk his last pint of Newton and Ridley’s.

Tony, being a cold man with a snakeskin wrapping, got someone else to do the actual hit and run. One suspects he's still going to get a good night's sleep.

But he's not real. The Coronation Street audience's desire to see a good story IS though, and a ripping good yarn, well told, should not be destroyed with enough dynamite to implode a soulless 60s high-rise.

The reason why his soapy demise came without disguise was courtesy of the tabloids, which not only told us Liam was going to die, but that three endings had been filmed. We were then offered descriptions of each way in which a man who, like Tony, had made his money in women's smalls, was going to have his elastic irrevocably snapped.

Thus, all suspense had been frittered away, as if it were a superfluous ingredient in a carrot cake - such as carrots, perhaps.

It seems fair to assume that the writers, actors and producers do not actually want their work to be compromised in this cynical way.

They're left with little choice, however, because continuing drama storylines are leaked to the papers on a regular basis, presumably to keep the 'profile' of the show as high as possible. It's been turned into a PR policy, in which the tabloids and publicists arguably conspire to spoil the soap addict's viewing pleasure.

Of course, there must be some people who read the last few pages of a book when they're still halfway through, and you have to feel sorry for them, because they're destroying their own enjoyment.

When it's destroyed for you, though, it makes a mild-mannered person want to, well, smash his tea cup against the wall (and then clean it up straight away).

If suspense wasn't enjoyable, then people wouldn't watch and read thrillers. A reader or viewer likes to be dangled from a string, not knowing what's going to be passing beneath them when the thread finally snaps.

Corrie has been providing plenty of pieces of string, but snapping them for us.

We should really just be left to dangle.