Solo Dance Martin Jensen
12 September 2016, 09:54
You're about to have the WILDEST week of your life - but don't be intimidated, we're here to get you through it!
Welcome to University!
It might seem big and daunting, and you'll learn a LOT on the way (maybe even go to a few lectures, too) - so here's our ultimate survival guide to get you through the whirlwind that is Freshers' Week!
Whether you're from London or Leeds, Cardiff or Cambridge, if you're got the slightest hint of an accent you can guarantee people won't be able to understand you. But that's fine, you'll no doubt have to struggle your way through a few "gap yah" stories.
Just smile and nod, works a treat.
You might think the hardest part of uni is your dissertation, but you're DEAD wrong! You'll meet HUNDREDS of new people in your first couple of days alone. Just focus on learning your flatmates' names, maybe a few of your coursemates too. Anyone beyond that will be "buddy", "mate" "babe" for the next three years.
Seriously, this is the LAST time for a LONG time your bank account balance will have a "+" at the start of it. Make sure you plan out your budget so you can pay your rent, buy your books and book your train home for Christmas. It worked for us, and we TOTALLY didn't have to guilt trip the folks into paying for us to come home... honest...
Okay, so a few days in you've experienced all the delights your Students' Union and local clubs have to offer, and you're a bit skint... But fear not, one life lesson you'll learn is that house parties are TOTALLY acceptable, you can wear your trainers AND there's usually a bed/sofa/bathtub to crash in at the end of the night. Result!
No extra dough for a decent pair of speakers? No problem! As well as earning your degree, you'll pick up some valuable life experience. All you need is a toilet roll tube, some empty bottles and the Capital App and you've got a full on sound system! BOOM!
No matter what temperature it is, if there's a tiny amount of sunshine you HAVE to have a barbecue! So go and raid the reduced section of your local supermarket for some meat, and show off your SECOND life hack of the week - GO YOU!
Read: You'll come home from Wonky Wonky Town and have a traffic cone and/or street sign in your bed. It will be absolutely HILARIOUS until your mum comes to visit and you have to disguise it as a lamp/Christmas tree.
No, we're not talking about going out in public in the buff, but student nights are pretty much free reign to wear whatever you want, whether it's *technically* clothing or not! Don't have a clean LBD to hand? A bin bag looks just as good, honest!
Seriously, embarrass yourself in front of your roomies, the society you joined (and TOTALLY intend on going to their meetings), or people in the SU? You'll get a nickname - and it won't be a nice one. Seriously, you don't want to spend three years being known as "Toilet Girl" or "Nipple Guy", do you?
Don't try to fight it. Freshers' Flu is a very real and a very dangerous thing. Expect sore throats, runny noses and days spent in bed under the duvet.
Trust us on this one, you're the apple of your parents' eyes, so just be careful what ends up on Facebook! Check those privacy settings now. Seriously, do it now! You can thanks us later for helping avoid awkward conversations over the Christmas dinner table... ("No mum, he's just a friend!", "Of COURSE I've been going to bed early!", "No, I'd NEVER stay out all night when I have a 9am lecture!")
You. Are. Welcome!
Trust us, you'll get homesick at least once and you're not alone! Just give your mum a call and everything will be okay. Plus in a few weeks when you need to borrow £20 it makes it MUCH easier!
You know what we mean. If you're about to operate heavy machinery, wear a hard hat and a high-vis jacket.
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