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5 October 2012, 11:55
The 'Right There' singer admits she felt "disgusted" as she opens up on her struggles within the band.
Nicole Scherzinger has confessed that she was battling with bulimia during her days with the Pussycat Dolls.
The 'Don't Hold Your Breath' star opens up about her illness during a new behind the scenes special with VH1 and said she had never felt so isolated as she did during that difficult time.
"I just hated myself,' she admitted. "I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life."
She continued: "Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell."
It's the first time the X Factor judge speaks about her troubled past and she kept her illness a secret to save her family from any harm.
"It's embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know," she added.
The singer added that she felt bulimia and harming herself felt like
"I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things.
"My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction."
Lady Gaga also recently came out and revealed that she has been "tormented" about her size and image since a young age, after media sources criticised her recent weight gain.
Meanwhile, representative for Nicole recently hit out at reports she'd cheated on boyfriend Lewis Hamilton with Chris Brown in New york this month.